From Marc-Andre Pigeon

Dear Randy,

I found out about Shona's passing last week from Ajit but after discussion, thought it best to wait before reaching out.  I was planning on writing something this weekend -- or even braving a phone call (I always worry about what to say) -- but happened upon this site and was so very moved by your beautiful tribute to Shona.  It made me reflect on my brief but memorable encounters and the urge to write was overwhelming.

I can still see her in your Red Hook home, all energy, light and kindness in a world that seems to want to strip that away.  I can still remember the warmth of her greeting when I first arrived in Red Hook, a little afraid, a lot uncertain.  I can still remember the time, at your place, when Shona introduced me to the magic of pesto. I was immediately won over and devoured all that was on offer.  She quickly offered to make more despite my protestations.  I observed as she blended these things called pine nuts with a substance referred to as olive oil and an herb known as basil with this strange device called a hand blender.  Needless to say I was impressed with this magic and rushed out and bought a hand blender almost immediately afterwards.   

I think you were late for that particular supper so it was just me, her and the kids but she made me feel like I was part of your family, a family.  Always.  For a little guy from North Ontario, that made all the difference especially as I struggled through my breakup with Danielle, especially as I struggled to digest this big brave world of the United States of America, especially as I struggled to make sense of this discipline of economics that, upon until I met you, seemed devoid of humanity or even reason.

So my heart goes out to you and the kids for this huge loss.  For what it's worth, I have every confidence they will get through this and prosper.  I lost my father when I was 18, my sisters 15 and 13, and my younger brother 10.  With the ballast of a strong and truly inspirational mother -- like you as a strong and inspirational father, it all worked out.  I'd be lying if I said I don't still miss him, still don't think how much I'd like to be able to, as you say, experience that wonderful evolution from son-father to friendship.  But there is one thing I know for certain which I hope will ease some of that realization: your children will carry Shona's light with them, one way or another, feel a responsibility to it, hold onto it when they need to, and always be grateful that their beautiful mother chose wisely in the father they still have.

Take good care Randy.  My thoughts are with you.

Marc-Andre

From Alice Perlmutter

Shona was one one of my closest friends. We met when she first moved to Red Hook and Alina was almost one and Shane was almost 3. Our children have known each other their entire lives. Shona was my one friend who was always up for an adventure. If I was headed off to NYC with my kids, I knew Shona would be the one come and bring her kids along. If we read or heard of an interesting place, Shona would be up for going.

One thing Shona really loved was the county fair. We started going when our kids were young and it was mainly for their entertainment. But as the kids got older, we still wanted to go and would just drag them along. Shona was not only interested in all the exhibits, but loved to go on the rides as well. She especially loved the ferris wheel and roller coaster. She would take my kids on the ferris wheel for me. And we never left the fair with out stopping at the 4H group milkshake booth, no matter how long the line.

Shona and I would take our kids camping together. She loved camping and was a great campsite cook. Always bringing something interesting and fun for the cookout.

Every year she when she came to Red Hook we would go on a hike to Bash Bish Falls, a nice waterfall nearby. The water was icey cold, but she was always the first person to jump in.

Another thing we would make sure to do every year was to go blueberry picking at Grieg Farm. She would always say, she had so much work to do, but she would have to have some of those blueberries and take the afternoon off.

I was always happy when summer came and she would come to Red Hook. I would get a text from her (if you know Shona, you know of her love of texting) saying she was in Red Hook and to come over.

We went to visit her in some of the many places she lived. We went to Kansas City, to Rome when she was there at the American Academy, and took our families on vacation together to the Island of Ponza and then we last saw her when we went to visit in Florence last December.

My children were very close to her and are devastated. She was a lot of fun and had a great heart. I will miss her all the time.

My love goes out to Randy, Shane and Alina.

From Fred and Ardemis Tajirian

We are shocked by the horrible news of Shona's death. We are grieving with her parents, Maggi, her husband and children.

From Leah Dark-Fleury

I am so sad to say that over the last couple of years, I had lost touch with Shona.  We didn't have a falling out we just got busy with our lives.  It is only when something like this happens that one realizes how important it is too keep in touch with those wonderful people you meet in your life.

I met Shona in the fall of 1983.  Shona, Jane and Marianne and I spent a year studying at the University of Padova. Marianne and I ended up living in an apartment together.  As you can see from the pictures, we had absolutely no fun at all!  I remember the first day we rented the apartment we promised the owner that we would absolutely not have any parties.  So, of course, we had a huge party the day we moved in which ended up with the police at our door.   Then, we had to convince the landlord we wouldn’t do it again.  I believe it was Shona who finally won him over. Now that I have a son the same age we were then, I think it is a miracle we didn't get into more trouble.

That year was one of the best years of my life and I believe that for all of us, Jane, Marianne and Shona it was a formative year of our lives.  Shona  was such a free spirit she just shined in Italy.   I don’t think she had any Italian in her but you could just see that when she was there, she was at home.  Always that huge smile and always ready to meet someone new, cook up an incredible meal and take on some new challenge.    I will always treasure her wonderful energy and joy of life.

From Matt Forstater

Our hearts are heavy with grief and sorrow to have lost our friend Shona.  We feel fortunate to have shared our lives with such a wonderful person these last fifteen years.  Our boys, Harris (21) and Raymond (14) have grown up with Shane and Alina, first in Red Hook, NY, from 1997-99, where Randy and Mat worked together at the Levy Institute and where Mat and Shona both taught at Bard College, and since 1999 in Kansas City, where Randy, Mat, and Shona all taught at UMKC.

Our families have shared many times together, including traveling to Italy, and several trips back to New York since moving to KC.  We shared many dinners, cookouts, swims, walks, and conversations.

Shortly after we all arrived in upstate NY in August 1997, we celebrated Alina’s first birthday all together as new friends, Gail six months pregnant with Raymond. Our kids trick or treated in their Halloween costumes and we shared the first of many meals, friends, and interests.  We got to know Randy’s Mom and Shona’s parents, and they got to know our parents (three of the four of whom have since passed away).  And we got to know Maggi as well. And the Minskys, the Kregels, the Harcourt/Sardoni’s, and so many good friends. And Heather the (male) cat!

We can’t recall anyone ever saying an unkind word about Shona (how rare is that?). She was a generous friend who never asked a favor, yet who could be relied upon in a pinch. Our deepest, sincerest heartfelt condolences go to Randy, Shane, Alina, Maggi, and all the Wrays and Kellys, and everyone who knew her.

Please do not hesitate to call on us for anything!

The Forstaters – Gail, Mat, Harris & Raymond