From Matt Forstater

Our hearts are heavy with grief and sorrow to have lost our friend Shona.  We feel fortunate to have shared our lives with such a wonderful person these last fifteen years.  Our boys, Harris (21) and Raymond (14) have grown up with Shane and Alina, first in Red Hook, NY, from 1997-99, where Randy and Mat worked together at the Levy Institute and where Mat and Shona both taught at Bard College, and since 1999 in Kansas City, where Randy, Mat, and Shona all taught at UMKC.

Our families have shared many times together, including traveling to Italy, and several trips back to New York since moving to KC.  We shared many dinners, cookouts, swims, walks, and conversations.

Shortly after we all arrived in upstate NY in August 1997, we celebrated Alina’s first birthday all together as new friends, Gail six months pregnant with Raymond. Our kids trick or treated in their Halloween costumes and we shared the first of many meals, friends, and interests.  We got to know Randy’s Mom and Shona’s parents, and they got to know our parents (three of the four of whom have since passed away).  And we got to know Maggi as well. And the Minskys, the Kregels, the Harcourt/Sardoni’s, and so many good friends. And Heather the (male) cat!

We can’t recall anyone ever saying an unkind word about Shona (how rare is that?). She was a generous friend who never asked a favor, yet who could be relied upon in a pinch. Our deepest, sincerest heartfelt condolences go to Randy, Shane, Alina, Maggi, and all the Wrays and Kellys, and everyone who knew her.

Please do not hesitate to call on us for anything!

The Forstaters – Gail, Mat, Harris & Raymond

From Sharon Casey

Dear Maggi,

Thank you for doing this work. I, like many others, have loved Shona dearly for many years.  I find myself heartbroken at this horrible surprise. The funny thing is, seemingly out of the blue, Shona came into my head so clearly on Sunday morning. I was having a conversation with her that went way back in our relationship. I was scolding myself for being such a dufus and recalling Shona's unconditional acceptance of me. I learned of Shona's death on Monday morning.

My deepest sympathies, Sharon

From Catherine Lawless

Condolences

To Shona's family and friends - I am so sorry for your loss. I first met Shona at the Leeds conference, she was a lovely person, warm, friendly and so generous with her time and knowledge. She will be badly missed.

From Daniel and Heather Conceicao

Remembering Shona

It is very hard to find the right words to express how deeply sorry Heather and I are after hearing of about Shona’s passing. Having known her was a true privilege. We thought we'd share these memories.

Not all who wander are lost…

I was running and panting, for I did not want to be late. Brazilians are known to be always late, not the British. The British are always on time. Shona had agreed to sponsor my application to obtain a UK passport, so I wanted my behavior to fit the Brit stereotype, not the Brazilian, as if I had to earn the sponsorship by displaying enough Britishness. She had said to stop by at 4, so I’d better be at her door at 4.

Despite my efforts, I got to Shona’s door at 4:07. In the end, my turning right when I should have turned left made me lose those precious minutes. Not as late as a Brazilian, but not exactly on time like a true Brit. I apologized for being late and joked that I had to practice being on time if I wanted to be a good Briton. Shona greeted me with that big friendly smile of hers and told me not to fret. She handed me the signed form and invited me to sit for a brief chat. I thanked her and she said that she was happy to help. I could tell by her smile that she was indeed happy to help. She asked me how I was doing. I told her about school work and the trip to Australia which was why I needed the British passport. Then I asked her if she knew whether, if I were to ever marry, my spouse would be eligible to receiving a UK passport. She told me that she was not sure, but wanted to know if I had someone in mind. She had that look that friendly people have when they know the good news, but do not want the surprise to be spoiled. I told her about dating Heather (another student of Professor Randall’s whom she knew very well) and then admitted to thinking about asking her to marry me. Shona smiled approvingly and told me that I could not have found a better person and that we would surely be very happy together. Although the decision had been already made in my mind, it had been the first time that I had told anyone that I wanted to marry Heather. Perhaps the idea of asking someone to marry me still felt too surreal to be discusses with other people. But after seeing Shona react to the news with such genuine joy and give such encouraging advice, I felt ready to tell people about my plans. Soon after that, I told my closest friends and parents that I was going to ask Heather to become my wife.

It had not been the first time when impactful words of encouragement came to me from Shona. I used to tell people that, once I defended my dissertation, a dream of mine was to drive back to Brazil from Kansas City in an old VW bus. Almost everyone who heard it found the proposition humorously unrealistic: “It sounds fun, but be serious. You will never do it.”, they would say. Not Shona. She told me to go for it if that was truly a dream of mine. A few weeks after I had shared my dream over dinner at her place, she sent me this magnet with a black and white picture of a VW bus that said “Not all who wander are lost.” I have looked at that magnet many times since for inspiration. And who knows…  I have not defended my dissertation yet. Maybe I will take that trip after all. But now I will ask Heather to come along.

From Margaret Cooper

Kerikeri, Bay of Islands, New ZealandEaster New Zealand 1972

I have a black and white photograph of Shona, Maggi and my two boys sitting in a row boat high and dry on our beach in Kerikeri, Bay of Islands, New Zealand munching on Easter eggs! My sons remember the occasion very fondly as do I. It was a great occasion!