From Lura Kilpatric

Memories of Shona

I'm Randy's aunt, though he is actually 3 months older than me. I've known Shona from a distance since he brought her for a visit when they were living in Denver. But I didn't get to really know her until the summer of 2010 when I came to NY for a visit. We went somewhere every day and Shona was always the tour guide. I've visited NY a few times now and it just seems so strange that she won't be here. I'll never forget an excursion she and I took to Manhattan one time. She had some research to do at a library, and I wanted to see an exhibit at the Metropolitan Museum, so we each went to our destinations and met up for lunch and exploration. Guide book in hand, Shona read to me about the history of the West End, while we sat in a little Greek cafe. We walked and walked, and had so much fun. She spotted a huge bouganvilla that was climbing up the side of a building somewhere in the West End. She was quite taken with the size of the thng, and since then I can't see one without thinking of her. I bought a little bouganvilla and planted it last week in her memory. I hope it grows huge and climbs up the side of my house.
I'm visiting NY right now, and will be here for a month to help out and keep the kids company while Randy travels. Exploring Manhattan will never be the same, though I did find her guide book and plan to take it with me when I go tomorrow.

From Rachel Houck

Berkeley Woman

I only met Shona a few times while I was hangin' out with her sister, Maggi, in and just after high school. I just wanted to note after reading a bunch of these memories, that Shona never lost the Berkeley in her :D Shona's independence, her dancing to her own drum, her not caving in to wearing the 'in' styles of Italy and wearing what was comfy to her, her ability to stay her own person despite such a close marriage and family... all those things, and more, were the Berkeley in her. It was nice to read and see it peeking through in everyone's posts. My heart goes out to her family and friends.

From Gautam Dasgupta

Our Respects to Shona

Our heartfelt condolences to Randy, Shane and Alina, Jim, Celia and Maggi,
We all lost a bright scholar and a great human being!
With fond memories of Shona we pray for her eternal peace.
-Gautam and Antusa

From Cathy Basse

We first met Randy and Shona in Kansas City, with our children attending elementary school.  We quickly recognized that we had a lot in common. We joined together with rides and cameras in hand when school functions called and this was a blessing, because we finally had another couple that we could rely upon for co-opting rides, sleep over’s and fact finding missions to the school office, a particular skill of Shona Wray. Coming from California, we didn’t have a rapport with most of the other parents. Meeting Randy and Shona, we soon realized that we had a lot more in common with them, than school aged kids. Shona loved to prepare wonderful dinners, and so did we.

Randy traveled so much that, when he was home, joining our families together on the weekends became a ritual. This soon grew into extravagant large meals, introducing us to colleagues from the university and around the world. We met many of their family and friends who traveled to Kansas City and shared many wonderful times.

“Catching some Wrays” was an affectionate term used around our house as in: Regina's with Alina, "catching some Wrays". Or, I saw a "flash of the Wrays" this morning on the drive to school. Or, hey that looks like "a light Wray"…seeing Shane walking home from school.

Shona was generous with her time, her friendships, her energy and knowledge from cooking to camping, fishing to hiking, booking travel, to discussions about the icky medieval flees of the black death, and of course Italy. Randy was like a captain of a sailing ship bringing back tales meeting scholars and slaying dragons.

Shona and I shared a love of Rumi's poetry. This one hung in our kitchen for most of a school year. It says a lot about the life of a woman known as Shona Kelly Wray.

"My heart, aflame in love, set afire every heart that came in touch with it"
Always and in all ways dear friends,

Cathy, David and Regina Basse

From Ruth O'Brien

Shona's life (DU, NY)

Like everyone who knew Shona, I am shocked by her sudden and premature death, and I am greatly saddened for Alina, Shane, and Randy. There is no good time to lose a parent, but having lost one myself as a child, I know this opens a hole in your heart that can never be filled, no matter how many great friends, family members, and surrogates you find. Compound that truism exponentially with Shona, the mother, and the hole becomes even bigger, a black hole perhaps, for her two children. I know that Randy, as a loving father and Shona’s life partner, will step up and provide for all his children’s emotional needs, needs that get so complex in adolescence, when they are so close to being independent.

Shona and I shared a couple of worlds, along with their attendant anxieties, since we moved from Denver to New York at the same time, even though we didn’t work at the same university. Together we learned to cope with dual academic career difficulties in Denver and New York; mixing research and publishing while raising babies and young children; and not compromising, even if it means taking the uphill path the whole way. Shona put such a happy face on everything that it never mattered what lay in her path.

I have a snapshot of each one of these moments to share.

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